Every Monday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything Inbetween This week’s dream is from a gal who’s trying to move on from her cheatin’ man…
Real life: The guy I’d been seeing for a couple of years became involved with another woman that I knew. Long story short, I found out then called them out on it. We went through some up and downs but never stopped communicating completely. He calls regularly to check on me and we see each other numerous times a week as we are members of the same church. My therapist suggested I give him her number to see if he was willing to work through therapy together. He was defensive about it and I never pressed, considering I don’t want to push anything. If he doesn’t want to do the work it takes to rebuild trust, then I let it go and move forward. A month or so later I have this dream…
The dream: I was in a familiar waiting room and I see the young man I had been involved with. He doesn’t really speak but encourages me to go into the other room. I was led by a woman in her 40s. It was obvious that we were there for a counseling session. As I was led into the office I somehow I sensed that he wanted to be a part of my healing. He appeared quite remorseful.
Lauri: The setting of your dream feels familiar because this hurt mindset you are in has become familiar, either because this has happened to you before or because you’ve been carrying it around long enough that it is familiar, almost comfortable for this pain to be a part of your daily life.
The waiting room suggests that this is also your mindset as of late, you are waiting either for the pain to be gone or you are waiting for him to step up and make things right (i.e. work through this with you)… or both.
The older woman leading you into the office is the wiser, more mature part of yourself that you need to follow. She is the part of you that has learned and will continue to learn well from age and experience. She is trying to lead you past the mindset of waiting for him and waiting for pain to go away and into the point of action.
And notice how he encourages you past the waiting mindset also? What you have to keep in mind here is that he is not playing himself. This is your mind at work and your thinking and healing taking place so this is not his encouragement, this is yours. It is being shown to you in the form of this guy so that you will pay attention to it and listen to it.
At the end of the dream he looks remorseful because this is an image you want to cling to. You want to know in your heart that he feels bad for betraying you. And he may. But keep in mind that he was not willing to go to your therapist to work on this with you so he is clearly not as invested in your healing as you are. I hope this helps.
Are you trying to heal from the past? Your dreams are a very tangible tool in the healing process. They will not only show you how you are doing but will give you the encouragement you need to keep moving forward. My book Cracking The Dream Code has a daily dream decoding journal in it that not only helps you to connect the imagery in your dreams to what is going on in your life right now, but also helps you to see who is good for you and who isn’t!
“I bought this book for my daughter and she loved it so much she told me I had to get one of my own! Thank you!!” – Yvette, Santa Maria, CA