You’ve probably heard of the Chinese concept of Yin and Yang. According to the philosophy, Yin and Yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole… the negative and the positive, the dark and the light or the most popular of these opposites, the male and the female. Male or Yang energy is that which makes you assertive, in charge and even aggressive. Female or Yin energy is sensitivity, creativity, nurturing and passivity. These male and female energies within each of us are often in conflict with each other, one often overpowering the other. Those who have lots of male assertive energy often struggle with backing down, giving up or admitting to feeling uncertain or vulnerable. And those with lots of female sensitive, nurturing energy often struggle with standing his or her ground, pushing through set backs or taking on a leadership role. The idea of Yin and Yang is that these opposite energies, when balanced, will complement each other rather than conflict with each other. When there is an equal balance of both, an individual is considered complete, which is why the Yin Yang symbol, also known as the Taiji, is a perfect circle with an equal amount of black (Yin) and equal amount of white (Yang).

Your dreaming mind will present your own male and female energies to you in the form of a man or woman in order to show you how well or how poorly you are utilizing your yin and your yang. No matter what your gender, unknown men in your dreams are reflective of the side of you that, when needed, can “man up,” “grow a pair” and handle the situation. Unknown women are reflective of your passive, sensitive, nurturing and creative side.

Remember, every person in your dream is connected to a part of your own personality.

Ever since my separation, I keep dreaming of men I don’t know in real life. We end up sitting and talking and they are always gently, holding or caressing my hands. Brenda 48

Lauri: You are realizing that you may have to provide for yourself and run your own household alone for a while, and you may be feeling a little concerned about this. So your dreaming mind is stepping in and reminding you that everything you really need is already inside of you. You are already fully equipped to handle things on your own, if need be. Your dreams are trying to get you in touch with your male side, the part of you that is assertive, makes decisions and brings home the bacon. Believe it or not, we sometimes discover our whole self once we go through a separation or divorce because we are forced to. Certain built-in qualities and skills become idle when “our other half” is handling some of the work. That seems to be what is happening to you, you probably have to take care of more things than you used to, especially the “man things” like taking out the trash and tightening the leaky faucets. Notice how the men are always caressing your hands? Your hands symbolize your capability. Your dreams are focusing on your hands because this is how you are reassuring yourself that you are fully capable of handling all the things that now rest on your shoulders. These dreams are good for you and are coming to you to empower you, sister!

Brenda replies: Makes perfect sense. I have been a bit concerned about my capabilities of handling things on my own. There’s been a lot of stress for quite some time.

Brenda’s dream is a perfect example of how male energy will manifest itself in our dreams in the form of an unknown man. In Brenda’s case, her male self is reassuring to her. But many times, the unknown men in women’s dreams can be threatening. This is often due to fear of utilizing our own assertive energy; as women we don’t want to be labeled the B word, so we tend to be more pleasant than firm and forceful.

We all have male and female energy within us. Generally, men have more Yang, and women have more Yin.  The key in life is to create the perfect balance of both of these energies.  No matter what your gender, we all need to be able to be sensitive and nurturing without being overly emotional, and firm and determined without being too aggressive.

The above is an excerpt from the people chapter of my latest Book Dream On It, Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life. In the people chapter you will also learn how to decipher Mother, Father, Unknown Men and Women, Baby, Child, Celebrities, Boss, Doctor, Police and Classmate when they appear in your dreams. Get your autographed copy today and save 10% when you put “dream” in the coupon code at checkout

“Simply the best dream book out there! This is a life changing book! Extremely well written, practical, serious, easy to read and with wells of real wisdom. Not a usual self-help book, but it sure will help you change your life. Outstanding!” – Margareta Hagglund editor of M Magazine