Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between This week’s dream is from a straight gal who is wondering why she’s dreaming of having a girlfriend…

I had a dream about an ex and a female friend that I use to be close to, but I moved and haven’t kept in touch with them. I still want to be with my ex even after being broken up for a couple of years now; he contacts me once in a blue moon but I make it my duty not to contact him.

In the dream I’m outside at a function and I see the ex, go up to him, we start talking and hitting it off. In the dream all my emotions feel real. While talking to him, my friend gets jealous and calls me over to her. It turns out she and I are dating and she knows how I feel about him so she doesn’t want me speaking to him. She sits in my lap and I put my arms around her and think about my ex. Then it ends.

I have never had any gay thoughts about my friend. However if I were to substitute her for my boyfriend now it would be just as correct.

Lauri: You mentioned that you still want to be with your ex even though you have been broken up for two years. This leads me to believe that your dream is trying to help you in the relationship department. The emotions you feel in the dream feel real because they are real. But keep in mind that after two years, it may not be that the emotions are as much about him as they are about what he represents: a loving relationship.

Your dream brings a very close friend into the picture to help make its point: someone else who, like the ex, is no longer a part of your life. Notice how at the end of your dream you explain that if you were to substitute your friend for your boyfriend, it would be the same. Believe it or not, that is the very conclusion your dreaming mind was leading you to. Well, not that you need to call her up and get with her but that a close friendship is what it takes to have a lasting, loving relationship. Ask any successful couple that’s made it around the block a few times and they’ll tell you that, first and foremost, they are best friends. So when looking at prospective relationships, make sure he can hang like a friend as well.

Response from Dreamer: Wow! This makes so much sense. I do feel like the relationship is lacking the connection of friendship and some of the love department. Thank you tons. I feel this has helped me out a lot.

Your dreams are such a powerful part of who you are.  They are giving you answers and direction, even warnings you need to know every night of your life. Why wouldn’t you want the ability to understand these important, even life-changing messages? Grab yourself a copy of one of my books and you’ll easily understand your dreams every morning and get a HUGE edge in life.


“Your books have been so helpful. I’m seeing my dreams in a much different light. I can’t believe how simple the symbology is once you get the hang of it. Btw, your drawings are incredible. You’re a fantastic artist!”   – Patricia, Chico, CA