Every Monday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything Inbetween This week’s dream is from a gal who lost her fiance to death and is trying to move on…
My fiancé died of a health issue in December ‘07. He had been sick for almost 3 years. I took GREAT care of him and I would have for the rest of my life. But I recently have found someone new and he is truly the love of my life! I had this dream that my ex was back alive and we were in the hospital together because he was still sick…but I had to tell him that he was going to die and that I didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore…What does all this mean?
Lauri: You have once again found someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with, and while this is wonderful news, it is bringing to the surface a bit of guilt. Unfortunately, guilt is an all too common element in the lives of those that are trying to move on after their true love dies. This is because there is an underlying sense of betrayal at work here… after all, you two never broke up! Neither of you decided that you didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore.
Because of this, a part of you must feel that if you do move on into wedded bliss with someone else, you are cheating on your late fiancé — or, at the very least, you are loving him less. This is why so many people never remarry. They feel it is disrespectful to the one they loved and lost to death.
My own grandmother is guilty of this! Her husband died in a car crash when he was in his 40s and she never married again and never even dated either! She spent her remaining 40 some odd years on Earth alone… all because she did not want to betray her late husband. Sigh.
Thankfully, your dreaming mind is stepping in and helping you to avoid this lonely fate! It is helping you to make the psychological and emotional “break” from him that you need so that you can move on. Even though you are talking to him in the dream, you are really talking with yourself and you are saying: “I need to release myself from the past. I do not want to live in the past anymore. This chapter of my life is over.” In other words, this dream was extraordinarily healthy and was bringing you closure so you can move forward into your new and exciting relationship guilt-free!
It’s important to pay attention to your dreams after someone you love dies. They are a built-in healing mechanism, designed specifically to help you cope with and move on from your loss. I have awhole chapter in my book So, What Did You Dream Last Night? about dreams after death, how they help us heal and how they can even be contact dreams!
“My girlfriend LOVES this book, and our friends who have picked it up from the coffee table have dug it too. That’s why I had to order 2 more!” – Robert, Kill Devil Hills, NC