Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between This week’s dream is from a woman who is baffled by the make out session she dreamed about…

What kissing in a dream really means

The short answer: Kissing in a dream can almost always be connected to an intimate conversation that has happened, or needs to happen, in waking life, because it takes two mouths to communicate. And when someone you know isn’t acting like themselves in a dream, they most likely represent some part of you, or something you are dealing with now, rather than the actual person.

A reader’s make-out dream about an old crush

A little background: I had a crush on an eastern European guy I met at a night class. I used to be really insecure then, but I managed to get him go out on a date with me. I asked him out again, but he gently said no. I felt we liked each other but there was a barrier that I figured was caused by cultural differences. After a while I realized he wasn’t what I expected anyway and forgot about it. This was about four years ago.

A few weeks ago I thought I saw him on the street and later that night had a dream about him. In the dream I ran into him in a nightclub. He had friends with him and looked younger, more at ease. I remember I fell for him because he was usually very serious, so he seemed very different.

I felt a little awkward and didn’t want him to notice, so I acted very civil. He started to get really upset, even started to cry (completely out of character), saying he thought we had a connection, we liked the same kind of music and that had to mean something. I felt sorry for him, and although I’m over him and actually have feelings for someone else now, I hugged him and we made out. I felt relieved he started smiling. I can’t make sense of this dream!

What the old crush represents

Lauri: At this point in time, since you seem to have no standing issues with this guy, I believe he is not playing himself but rather represents something you are currently dealing with that feels the same as when he was in your life and in your thoughts.

So let’s look at what stands out about him. There was a cultural barrier that kept the two of you from really connecting. Does anything feel like that now? You have feelings for someone else. Is there a barrier you are afraid will be a problem for you now? You also overcame your insecurities, stepped outside of your comfort zone and asked him out. That’s a big deal! Perhaps your inner mind is urging you to do this again with this current guy you fancy. You also described him as very serious. Anything you need to get serious about right now?

When someone in your dream acts out of character

In your dream, he began to cry, which you said was out of character. That right there is a good indication he is not playing himself but instead represents some part of you. When we dream of people we know, and they are not acting like themselves at all, then you can bet the farm they are reflective of some part of the self. So! What is it you have been upset about? What has been going on that makes you want to cry?

What the kissing means

Whatever it is, it seems that your dream is giving you a remedy to the situation, which is being shown to you in the form of a makeout session! Kissing in dreams can almost always be connected to intimate conversation that has happened or that needs to happen in waking life because — like kissing — it takes two mouths to communicate. And let’s face it, open, honest conversation is the key to just about any relationship problem.

The dreamer’s response

Dreamer’s response: Thank you so much for this! I’ve been reading your column for a while and I felt I was very close to understanding that dream, but needed some help. I think you’re quite right. The guy I currently have feelings for lives in a different country and I haven’t been able to get through to him by email. I have his number and I wanted to tell him I’m going to where he lives in a few months and I wanted to see him again, but I’m afraid to. It’s been almost a year since we spoke. What if the phone doesn’t work either? What if he already found someone else? What if he notices I have feelings for him and gets all awkward? Anyway, the day of the trip is approaching and I still haven’t decided what to do.

More kissing and relationship dreams

• Kissing in dreams
• Why do I dream of kissing my ex?
• The 3 most common sex dreams and what they REALLY mean

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